Episcopal Church of Saints Andrew & Matthew (SsAM)

Seeking to know and love God in every person, here, now.

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What is Love? A reflection by Mary Lou Edgar, Episcopal Church of Saints Andrew and Matthew (SsAM), Wilmington, Delaware

by Mary Lou Edgar, September 2, 2022.

Each of us has probably been in love at one time or another.

Maybe it was when we were very young and the intensity of our first major infatuation disrupted everything else in our lives. Possibly it was after we completed a plan for our life and decided it was time. Every time someone has a baby, they say they are in love. It is fairly common today to say, “I love you,” when you are bidding farewell to another person.

When I was young, use of the word love was not so common. I was often told that I expressed my love for people too much. I was told that I undervalued the thought by saying that I loved everyone. It was believed that it should be special. However, no one seemed to mind when I told them I loved them.

Love is and always will be a very complex concept.

It can be looked at many different ways. According to the Greeks, it is an emotion, a state of being, a choice or ability, a gift, a force, or all of the above. The English define it differently. It is primarily affection for another person. In our culture, we don’t just love people. We love pets, furniture, food, clothing, etc. Although I frequently tell my husband, children, and many others that I love them, I never really thought about the significance of it. However, a very important part of my spiritual journey has been to experience love in a different way.

We all grew up singing “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.” I can’t believe that I reached adulthood never realizing what this meant.

Jesus taught us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Loving our neighbor was so important and has continued to be for over 2000 years. I was comfortable with this concept because I believed that I loved my neighbor. Truthfully, I hadn’t given it much thought. Loving my neighbor meant doing what was convenient and staying out of the way of those who drove me crazy. It was a system that worked well for me – and it meant nothing.

As I began to pray and read Scripture, I realized that the way Jesus taught about love was to help us be accessible, accepting, and supportive of our neighbors. And I see our neighbors as being all people. It is a love I work on each day.

We all feel irritated with others at times, whether they are close to us or not. Some days are better than others. It is so easy to express dislike for someone we don’t really know. Isn’t that person our neighbor? When someone hurts us and we become agitated, isn’t that our neighbor.

For me, loving my neighbor often means waiting for my attitude to change a bit. That usually involves prayer. I find loving the people closest to me to be challenging. I have to work at my responses and realize that love takes real work, often it is a decision I make.

Loving myself may be the most difficult. I am fortunate to have those in my life who help me see my positive attributes and encourage me to love myself the same way God does. That has been a journey, but I’m making progress.

Most of my life I worked with children.

I have worked with some fascinating children who challenged most adults. I remember one child in particular who had a tremendous impact on me.

This eight-year-old child had been abused and neglected his entire life. His response to the world was rageful. I remember watching him destroy my office while praying, “Lord, help me see him and love him the way you do.” Afterwards I felt calm and waited. When he was done, I hugged him, and he cried for a long time. We talked for a while and then together, we cleaned up my office. Our relationship changed that day. Before I was judgmental and stern; afterwards, I felt caring and kind. I learned something special about love.

God is love. He loved us enough to send us his Son and His love is unconditional. He is there for us always. It is up to us to learn how to accept and rely on that love.

My command is this: Love one anther as I have loved you.” John 15:12

_____________________

Mary Lou Edgar, 130x190pxABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mary Lou Edgar, MSS, is a clinical social worker who founded A Better Chance for Our Children, an adoption and foster care agency that works to find permanent homes for children in the foster care system.  Mary Lou was the Executive Director of ABCFOC, but she is now retired.  She graduated from Neumann University and Bryn Mawr School of Social Work and Social Research. She and her husband joined SsAM in 2021.

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NEWS

Clergy Transition – Our Search for a New Rector

SsAM IS NOW RECEIVING NAMES FOR OUR NEXT RECTOR! If you are a clergy person and interested in our open rector position, we invite you to … [Read More...]

The Reverend Clay Brown

Father Clay will celebrate his first Eucharists at 8:00 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. on Sunday, February 5, 2023 at SsAM. The 10:30 a.m. service is … [Read More...]

Worship God with us this Sunday in downtown Wilmington, Delaware

You are invited to worship God with us in person this Sunday at 8:00 or 10:30 a.m. in downtown Wilmington, Delaware. Our newly-ordained … [Read More...]

Welcome To SsAM. You are invited!

SsAM, the Episcopal Church of Saints Andrew & Matthew in downtown Wilmington, Delaware, welcomes you. Come to God’s Table! Come, you … [Read More...]

SsAM Presents: Upcoming Events

The Rev. Kevin Clayton Brown, will celebrate Eucharist for the first time on Sunday, February 5, 8:00 am and 10:30 am By the Grace of God … [Read More...]

Charisse Rodgers is New Co-Chair of Racial Justice and Reconciliation Commission

Charisse L. Rodgers has served the church in numerous capacities, to include, vestry person, church treasurer, ECW board, diocesan … [Read More...]

Reflection on Winter – A Time to Slow Down

A reflection for February 5, 2023 by Mary Lou Edgar. It is hard to believe that we are in the middle of winter. We have had many nice … [Read More...]

The Extraordinary Life of Rosetta Henderson

An interview with Rosetta Henderson and a digital exhibit exploring her life and accomplishments is now at the Hagley Museum and Library. … [Read More...]

Spiritual Music in Wilmington, Delaware

Wilmington Children’s Chorus Teaching Fellowship applications are due February 10. The Wilmington Children's Chorus is accepting … [Read More...]

Children’s Chapel continues on February 12 at 10:30am.

Children’s Chapel will meet on February 12 and 26, and on every second and fourth Sunday at 10:30 a.m. in Crypt Hall. Children have several … [Read More...]

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Worship Services

We will be delighted if you worship with us in-person or via video this Sunday at 8:00 and 10:30 a.m. Click here to learn more!

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719 N. Shipley Street
Wilmington, DE 19801
with free parking weekends and evenings next to the church at 713 N. Shipley Street. Click here to learn more about parking and directions.
Office Hours
Monday – Thursday, 9:00 to 4:30
Friday, 9:00 to 1:00

OUR MISSION

To be an inclusive Christian community which worships God, follows Christ in all aspects of our lives, and serves the Greater Wilmington area through actions and ministries which promote peace, justice, reconciliation and empowerment for all people.

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PHONE: 302 656-6628

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If you are new to SsAM, please click here to see the Welcome to SsAM booklet in PDF format. The Episcopal Church of Saints Andrew and Matthew is a dynamic and diverse congregation in downtown Wilmington, Delaware.

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The Episcopal Church of Sts. Andrew and Matthew seeks to be a dynamic, spiritual center that is active in the pursuit of peace and justice in the community and a place where all God’s people are honored.

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