A reflection by Mary Lou Edgar for March 10, 2024.
“Here I Am Lord” is one of my favorites hymns.
While I was in college, I became a great fan of the St. Louis Jesuits. Their music provided great inspiration for me, and I listened to it on a regular basis. It is particularly powerful during Lent when I have so many great ideas of what I will do. I’m going to read more books and really ponder what they are saying to me. I’m going to journal religiously and see what I learn about my relationship with the Lord – as well as with others — and look at how it impacts me. I’m going to be more positive in my relationships and try to build others up rather than take them down. This is no different than other years when I have gotten going in such a robust way.
But this year is a bit different.
Instead of comparing what I was doing this year with what I didn’t finish in other years, I simply decided I would focus my Lenten practice on the song, “Here I am Lord.” The words to the song are beautiful and always move my heart. The main idea of the song is that we are asking the Lord what we can do to be helpful to him.
I always stumble on the part where it says, “if you go Lord, I will follow, I will hold your people in my heart.” I question whether I really do that. I tend to get pretty wrapped up in my own life (don’t we all) and tend to forget about taking care of others. So, in other years, I have tried to examine my conscious thinking about where I need to make changes. This year, I kept coming back to the Beatitudes and thinking about what I could be doing differently. I have to say that between the song and the Beatitudes, there was a great deal to consider.
This Lenten season has also been challenging because it is not just about what we can do but it is also about what we can do to make the world different.
We have huge, dangerous issues between countries. Environmental issues throughout the world are massive and yet people continue to say that there is not much we can do. Some people halfheartedly recycle and try to make things different but often we just don’t do what we can. I constantly hear from children how scary things are – they are so young, and this is their world. In 1962 I (and many of you) watched the Cuban Missile Crisis become a reality. I remember praying each evening with my family, jumping under desks at school when there was an alarm, thinking about poor people with nowhere to live, and wondering how long it would take to die. Each piece of news showed the ship with the missiles moving slowly towards our shores. It was terrifying and we were so young. Even though I was young, I seem to remember promising God that if we got through this, I would be so good. And since I lived in the mountains – I am not sure I would have been the first target.
My parents lived through the Second World War. My father served. We were told that he almost lost his life and that we need to be so sure we are doing the right thing – we must treat all people with respect. The stories my father told were terrifying. War was not something I wanted to be involved in – no matter what the price. There is a great deal to remember, and I honestly believed that we would never be in this position again.
I believed that we would all learn to live peacefully together because the price was so high.
Although we have not achieved that, we must never stop trying. Since the greed and thirst for power get in the way of peace each time, we never stop praying, we must never stop giving to others. My prayer is that one day we will truly realize we are one family under God. There is no greater lesson to learn as we worship with those we love during Lent.
Here I am Lord, It is I Lord! I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord, if you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart.
—Dan Schutte
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mary Lou Edgar, MSS, is a clinical social worker who founded A Better Chance for Our Children, an adoption and foster care agency that works to find permanent homes for children in the foster care system. Mary Lou was the Executive Director of ABCFOC, but she is now retired. She graduated from Neumann University and Bryn Mawr School of Social Work and Social Research. She and her husband joined SsAM in 2021.
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